those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
