Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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