9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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