I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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