Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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