the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
