I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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