Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
