Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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