"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Randomize
