The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
