i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
