What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
