he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
It's never too late to be topless.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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