Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
