took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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