she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
