he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
