the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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