you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
