Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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