Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
