Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
