you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Even my vagina gasped.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Randomize
