You can't special order awesome
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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