That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
