when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
