youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
