would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
