so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
