Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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