it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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