I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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