I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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