Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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