I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
try to milk me bitch
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
