so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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