Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
