My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
