so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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