What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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