i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
