Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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