In the future we'll all be gay
She's JV to your varsity
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Randomize
