at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
