You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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