Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
