Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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