a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't turn off my feet"
I just had sex on a roof
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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