I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Dignity is for republicans.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
