Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
