They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
