plz talk dirty to me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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